(no subject)

[mrockwell]

Writing

*Submission, Black Gate, 5/5
*Submission, Shine antho, 5/5

Everything Else

Another cardiologist visit today. Max is at approximately 11 lbs 13 oz (he was really wriggling on the scale, so we couldn't get an exact weight) and 22 3/4 inches. The Lasix seems to be helping with his breathing (by removing the fluid from his lungs), which is in turn making it easier for him to eat (though, obviously, with his weight gain, he wasn't in any danger of starving, LOL). The doctor will probably up his dosage at our next visit, and maybe add ACE inhibitors depending on his blood pressure reading.

Going to the cardiologist always depresses me. Max is gaining so well and looks so healthy, it's easy to lull myself into thinking he's doing okay. But it's the stuff I can't see that really determines how well he's doing, and the only place I get an inkling of that is at the cardiologist visits. That's when I learn just how hard his little heart is actually working, and it makes me so sad to think of how much he's struggling and I don't even know it. It makes me feel powerless, which is torture for any mother, but even more so for a control freak like me. Good thing I know it's all in God's hands, or I'd be a complete wreck, not just a walking fender-bender, heh.

Comments

[stillnotbored.livejournal.com]

I know how hard this is for you. Try to focus on the fact he does look healthy and that he is growing and gaining weight. Those are the signs that he's not in desperate trouble and that you are doing every single thing you can. He is getting bigger and stronger, and when/if the times comes for surgery that will be very important.

Max will be okay. He will, he will.

[mrockwell.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Jaime. ::HUGS:: And the same right back at you about your LO (no matter how old she is now, heh).

[saetter.livejournal.com]

/hugs

The weight gain is great news, though.

[mrockwell.livejournal.com]

Thanks, Stu. I can always use more hugs. :)

[jjschwabach.livejournal.com]

Hugs...

Things are going all right, they really are. The cardiologist would tell you if they weren't.

I found out where my friend who had this condition was taken; email me if you need info.

[mrockwell.livejournal.com]

Well, our cardiologist will, I'm sure. When he was explaining things to us that first visit, he mentioned the Reynold's Number, and apparently both my husband and I nodded and he stopped and said, "You're both engineers, aren't you?" Because nobody else would know what that was. So now he explains it all in terms of pump mechanics, heh.

[e-cunningham.livejournal.com]

A good friend once observed, "A mother is only as happy as her unhappiest child." When it comes to illness, something in the maternal DNA makes us frustrated mama lions who long to confront the threat head on--Ripley in the mechanical suit, or Mrs. Weasley busting out her wand. We could take the bitch in a fair fight, or go down smiling if it came to that. But not being able to do anything is unacceptable, a quiet hell.

No one can understand exactly what you're going though, and I don't mean to minimize it through generalization. But in the broad sense, you're definitely not alone.

Still lighting candles,
ec

[mrockwell.livejournal.com]

That is an excellent quote, ec, and so true.

And the generalization doesn't minimize anything. I appreciate the insight. And the candles. Thank you.

Thinking about you

[ldebie.livejournal.com]

Elaine is absolutely right. You have more folks in your corner than you can possibly imagine.

Enjoy every moment of Mother's Day!

Re: Thinking about you

[mrockwell.livejournal.com]

Thank you. :)

[ken-of-ghastria.livejournal.com]

My daughter Jordana had to go to the Pediatric ER last spring because a stomach bug she had picked up left her extremely dehydrated. They needed to put an IV in her tiny arm, and how can you possibly explain to a wailing 14-month-old that this thing in her arm is necessary and that it'll be better soon? That was a VERY long afternoon. But it was only an afternoon. So I can imagine how incredibly stressful this situation must be. My best wishes to you and Max ... and Happy Mother's Day!

[mysanal.livejournal.com]

*HUGS*